Joel Wideman

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Posts by Joel Wideman

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  40

  I am not JW but i have a q uestion for you guys and gals

  by LostSouls in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  k theres this girl at my school, i absolutely fell in love with her, i'm serious to, it's not just a fling....it's love, her eyes, her smile, her personality, i truely love her, and recently she told me she couldn't go out with me because of her religion,(jw), she crushed my heart, .

  now plzzzzz tell me.......when would she ever be allowed to date...cause this feeling for her will never die......i love her.

  why would i get a feeling as important as this, if it could never be

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  Joel Wideman

  Welcome to the board, LostSouls.
  This doesn't have anything to do with my reasons for leaving, so I didn't mention it there.
  I remember the first time I was in love. There was a girl at my KH that made me feel the way you describe. But there were things going on with her I didn't understand, and some of these I still don't, so I won't bring them up. Someone decided we were spending too much time together. She was forced to call me on the phone and tell me, through tears, that she didn't love me. She stopped talking to me, even though she said we'd still be friends.
  Eventually she got baptised. And then left.
  I haven't seen her since. I still have many unanswered questions. I still remember her face and, despite the pain, don't want to forget.
  The good news is that I fell in love again. While I can't say I've moved on, I haven't been carrying a torch either. I'm married to a wonderful woman who I've grown too accustomed to having around to replace, and I know she feels the same way about me.
  Love is not mystical. It is not exclusive. It is a combination of admiration, attraction, compatibility, and chemistry as well as emotion. Love can grow, and love can wither. Love is not a fantasy, it is reality.
  If you truly love her, do so unconditionally. Recognize that she cannot do the same. Forgive her for this. And always remember, there will be others.
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  19

  Do you like this when it happens to you?

  by free2beme in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have been on message boards for years, not so much former witness boards, but political or even just general topics.

  in so doing, something always happens and i wonder if i am the only one who finds this annoying.. you type something, perhaps a topic or a response and you don't think it is all that important to check all spelling and make sure grammar is perfect.

  after all, it's not school anymore and we are not being graded.

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  Joel Wideman

  It depends. There's the typo or slight mispelling, which I can overlook. There's modern grammar (what my English teacher would call bad grammar), which is still comprehendable. The old rule about dangling participles is antiquated.
  Then there's the stuff that is so wrong it obscures the meaning. Using the word "asbestos" without knowing how it is spelled or pronounced, for instance. If you have to guess at the word, the reader has to guess at the meaning. If it weren't for consistancy in spelling and grammar, communication with anyone outside your community would be impossible.
  When I correct, it is not because I think you are an idiot. Nor is it an attack to draw attention away from your points. It is simply that I have a preference for clarity.
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  3

  Random Musings - What is Good

  by Qcmbr in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  having taken part in a website test (posted here - where i remember not) that gave several moral situations - the consistent answering of which enables one to survive uninjured to the end of the questions - i have been left for a while deeply ruminating and cogitating over some dilemmas: .

  most people would consider that hurting an individual for the good of many is morally wrong and therefore 'evil' (eg kill a child to save 2 people) however would be swayed by context (eg kill an old person to save 2 young) or extra info (kill hitler prior to ww2) but in all those scenarios there comes the ultimate 'mirror moment' if you had to make the decision you inevitably would have done something evil in someone else's book and very possibly in your own.

  enter god.

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  Joel Wideman

  Hmmm... Those are some stumpers. Let's see how I measure up.
  If we decide that it is evil to hurt someone for others, where does that leave God, who planned, delivered and allowed Jesus to suffer for and on behalf of us? Does the context (Jesus chose that path as well and could have backed out) make it more acceptable? Does it matter whether Jesus was God (trinity) or the Son (seperate being to the Father)?
  God has the advantage. We are imperfect and make mistakes, not understanding fully the consequences of our choices. If I had to sacrifice my son for the sake of the world, I'm not sure I could do it. I could never be sure that my choice was right. Neither the context nor deity status matters - what matters is that only God could have made such a choice and have it be truly just.
  Is self sacrifice - a regular tenet of religion - wrong? Do we change our view of the 'morality' if the 'victim'/sacrifice is a willing participant? If we do, would that change our view of God's 'nastiness' towards innocents (disaster victims for example) if we somehow acquiesed to our own suffering (a concept inherant in my LDS worldview by dint of a belief in existence before life on earth)?
  As I've already stated that context doesn't matter, then self-sacrifice changes nothing. That someone would sacrifice themselves to the greater good is noble. That someone, lacking the perfect wisdom of God, would demand that sacrifice is unjust.
  Let's talk about my LDS faith here (so my introspective questions are not an attack on other faiths). Is it correct for the church to 'sacrifice' my time, money, freedoms for others (as a missionary 2 years, in community programs like today's litter pick :P, at church on a Sunday preaching and teaching)? If the LDS faith is a better way of living than someone currently has does it matter that the price is so high if the rewards (purely practical) are so good? Does it matter if I tell the whole truth as a missionary since I know that if they accept the faith they'll get happier as long as they don't dig too deep in the logic or history of the faith? Is it better to introduce someone to Jesus (even if that Jesus is 'false') than to leave them where they are?
  The real question here is, are you really following God, or men? It is easy to be certain we are following men, but it is impossible to be certain that we are following God. In light of this uncertainty, any deviation from the simpler concepts of justice and truth is folly.
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  3

  Random Musings - What is Good

  by Qcmbr in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  having taken part in a website test (posted here - where i remember not) that gave several moral situations - the consistent answering of which enables one to survive uninjured to the end of the questions - i have been left for a while deeply ruminating and cogitating over some dilemmas: .

  most people would consider that hurting an individual for the good of many is morally wrong and therefore 'evil' (eg kill a child to save 2 people) however would be swayed by context (eg kill an old person to save 2 young) or extra info (kill hitler prior to ww2) but in all those scenarios there comes the ultimate 'mirror moment' if you had to make the decision you inevitably would have done something evil in someone else's book and very possibly in your own.

  enter god.

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  Joel Wideman

  Okay, I give up - how do you put stuff in quote boxes?
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  14

  Is't God gonna kill SOMBODY on Armadeddon?

  by crankytoe in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  maybe i'm confused, but most comments on on this subject seem to suggest that people are appalled at the idea that jw's say god will kill alot of people on armageddon.

  especially children.

  i'm wondering why is this so outlandish a concept?

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  Joel Wideman

  What was God's promise to Noah?
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  60

  My Escape

  by Joel Wideman in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  my mother was roman catholic and, it turns out, mentally ill. she was rushed into marriage when my father got her pregnant with me.

  he was also catholic, a sailor, and an alcoholic.. .

  when my father was going to be sent to vietnam, my mother threatened to kill me and herself.

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  Joel Wideman

  Welcome to the board, Mark.
  I also remember, in painful detail, how I got the scars on my arm. The house we lived in had a heating vent on the floor which got very hot. My mother and father were talking about going to the beach, which I thought meant "right now", so I grabbed a blanket (no idea, it made sense at the time) and ran after her while she was putting away laundry. My foot got tangled up and I landed on that heating vent. I stayed there, screaming, until my mother picked me up. She doesn't know how I could remember, since I was only 2 or 3 at the time.
  I remember the German Shepherd that attacked me as I played on the sidewalk when I was 6. I remember getting the single stitch in my leg, but - oddly - not the 5 stitches over my right ear.
  I remember the little Asian girl who tried to scrape my freckles off with a plastic knife. I'm not sure, but I think it came from a Play-Doh set. She called me "Jello". I don't know how old I was, but it had to have been before school.
  I remember thinking I was going to go to school when I was 4, and announcing the fact to everyone who came to the door.
  I remember when my favorite TV show was "Zoom".
  I remember each of my pets. And the sadness when they died or had to be given away.
  I remember, when I was 7, a little girl in the neighborhood who lived with foster parents. She told me what her real father had done to her, and I wish I could forget.
  I remember these and many more things. Many of them I can recall only by remembering something else first, but a few will spring unbidden into my mind. Memories I had thought long forgotten. I am haunted by memories.
  Yet, I forget what today's date is, my own phone number, or where I put my keys. I don't have eidetic memory, which would be really useful as a writer.
  I said nothing in that post that broke the rules. I avoided bringing up certain things that would have invaded someone's privacy. I spoke only the facts as I know them. Your post is an obvious attempt to silence me via chastisement. I can only guess that I must have struck a nerve.
  While I _should_ be upset at your calling me a liar and making accusations, I am not. I understand and sympathize. I used to do the same thing to my father.
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  29

  oHi, short introduction

  by Sugarcane in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  glad i found this board and hope to have some interesting discussions.

  i'll post my story later today, but in the meantime; i'm a single parent with 2 kids, was a jw for 26 years in total (born one, left at 17 years, went back at 21), became inactive 4 years ago and disassociated myself 4 weeks ago!.

  my experience with the bible org.

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  Joel Wideman

  Welcome, Sugarcane. Your story was very moving. I'm sure the next chapter of your life will be happier.
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  61

  List everything you hate here....

  by under74 in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  there seems to be some people here blaming this on that and that on this.

  so, in the spirit of trying to clear the air and moving on i thought i'd start this post.

  i'll start....... the amish--because they won't defend themselves.

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  Joel Wideman

  Asparagus. It tastes awful, is difficult to chew thoroughly, makes your urine stink, and my mother insisted it was good for me.
  
  Small spiders. Not the big ones, no. The small ones you can barely see as they dangle from the ceiling above your head, waiting for you to fall asleep. Then they descend, slowly so as not to disturb. They time it just right, and as you inhale, they crawl inside your mouth, down your throat, then into your stomach. There they lay their eggs, from which millions of babies will hatch and eat you alive from the inside.
  
  That feeling you get when you've eaten too many marshmallow peeps, and you're now coming off the sugar high.
  
  The shocking trends in the young girls' clothing industry.
  
  When elevators are out of order and the stairs look like they were designed by Escher.
  
  That tag on the back of t-shirts that is apparently made from a cake of itching powder.
  
  The way my eyelashes are so long they smudge my glasses.
  
  How people assume I mostly stay indoors or don't talk to them because I'm shy.
  
  People. I'm not shy.
  
  Anyone who insists on mispronouncing my name. I'm not kidding. Don't do it.
  
  The way our justice system puts sex offenders back on the street to make room in jail for drug users.
  
  Bigotry.
  
  My insomnia.
  
  The way our government treats our veterans.
  
  Artificial additives that either taste like ass, or make you change your underwear.
  
  Militant idealism.
  
  Bad actors ruining good movies. Halle Berry, I'm looking at you.
  
  Directors that have no clue. Michael Bay, I'm looking at you.
  
  Migraines.
  
  The kind of computer illiteracy rarely found outside of management.
  
  Copyeditors, but I realize they are a necessary evli.
  
  Copyeditors again, for correcting and thereby ruining that joke.
  
  Parents who blame everything but themselves when their kids screw up.
  
  The fact that I can never finish lists without thinking I left something out.
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  2

  Bad dreams in the night?

  by eyeslice in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  bad dreams in the night.

  they told me i was going to lose the fight, .

  leave behind my wuthering, wuthering .

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  Joel Wideman

  I had a whole bunch of stuff typed out for you, but realized it would be more helpful to refer you to the book "Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming" by Stephen Laberge. It is useful to anyone who has regular nightmares, or simply wants to know more about this fascinating science.
  From my own experience, what you are going through is quite familiar. Why do you think you dream of being on a sinking ship or lost in the desert?
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  37

  Romans 1

  by Shining One in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  romans 1 .

  18. the wrath of god is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, .

  19. since what may be known about god is plain to them, because god has made it plain to them.

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  Joel Wideman

  Rex, a reference to the scripture will do, rather than quoting the whole thing. There are Bibles online, and we can look them up.
  That said, your own quotes apply very well to the WTS. "they seduce the unstable; they are experts in greed"